


Guns to heads

by Alathema



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Blood, Cutting, Death, M/M, Self Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-04
Updated: 2016-07-04
Packaged: 2018-07-21 14:28:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7390873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alathema/pseuds/Alathema
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I am so sorry for this don't kill me. I just thought that since there's a trees forest and now a truce fic I should make a guns for hands one</p>
            </blockquote>





	Guns to heads

He woke up with a smile playing at his lips thinking about how he was gonna see Tyler again today. Lately they've been spending a lot of time together getting up to mischief such as spray painting buildings, cars etc. He tugged on some clothes he found on his bedroom floor, ran downstairs, grabbed some toast and was out the door in a flash. As he ran to tylers house across the street he saw that his parents car wasn't there. He grinned even bigger

"WHAT THE FUCK" I yelled out as I felt something heavy land on me. Josh fell off the bed laughing and pointing at my face. "DUDE your face was priceless". I push him away as he comes near me.  
"I'm not in the mood. I just want to stay in today" I say gathering up the blankets around me and cuddling up. Josh seeing my distress and depression creeping up on me pulls the blankets up and starts cuddling me.  
"Ok" josh whispers, his soft breath tingling the back of my neck causing my whole body to quiver. We lay there like that for a while until I felt josh falling asleep against me. I too was starting to feel tired but I had some things to think over. I swore to him that it would never happen again. But it did. And I didn't stop it. IT FUCKING HAPPENED AGAIN. The screams in my head hurt. I can't breathe. I can't move. Josh's arms are like stone. I can't move them. I'm suffocating. I'm crying. I can't breath. Why am I like this. I grasp my wrist. I stroke the inside of my thigh. running over the old scars and new marks. I bite the duvet to keep from screaming out  
He needs to know  
I can't tell him  
HE NEEDS TO KNOW  
I can't worry him like this  
The voices keep talking until I feel my breath slowing and eyelids drooping

Most of their days were spent like that. Josh and Tyler falling asleep with each other. One stroking and cuddling the other. Tyler just didn't have the energy to do anything anymore. Every night when josh went home the voices would start creeping up on him  
"I know what you did"  
"Why did you do it"  
"You promised him it wouldn't happen again"  
They were too much. As the voices asked why he did it, why he was doing it. He did it. He couldn't stop the cutting. It was an addiction. He felt worthless. His whole life was falling apart. Madison in hospital because of her lungs, his parents arguing over the cost of the medical bills Always yelling in the house. Yelling, shouting, sobbing. The blade cutting into his flesh was the only thing he could control. 

Josh could feel something was wrong with Tyler. He wasn't as enthusiastic as he used to be. He knew about tylers depression but whenever he thought of it he remembered the promise Tyler made him. That he was done with cutting. And Tyler kept promises very seriously. Suddenly josh got a very bad feeling in his stomach. He jumped up and ran to Tyler's house knocking furiously. No one answered but he kept knocking. Finally he just burst through the door and ran upstairs. He found Tyler on the bedroom floor sobbing clutching his head and rocking back and forth, Mumbling something. Josh fell to the floor feeling tears at the corners of his eyes. He hated seeing Tyler broken and helpless. At the mercy of his head. He crawled towards Tyler  
"Tyler? Tyler baby. It's alright. It's all gonna be ok"  
"ITS NOT GONNA BE OK. ITS NEVER GOING TO BE OK. I DID A BAD THING. I DID A VERY BAD THING" Tyler yelled. A raw animal sound. A sound that could pierce the heart of every Angel. The pain in his voice audible to even the most clueless of people. The sound that Tyler hated the most. Josh clutched at his eyes and ears. He couldn't stand people in pain. He has enough of that at home what with his dad being abusive towards Ashley. He just couldn't stand it.  
"Josh. Josh I did a really bad thing. A really really really really....", Tyler whispered this his knees pulled up to his chest rocking back and forth. Josh gathered himself and said that he could do this. He had to do this. For Tyler  
"What happened Tyler. Sweetie you can tell me"  
"I can't josh. I broke a promise. I can't tell anyone"  
"Tyler it's ok. Let's take this a second at a time. It's just me. You can trust m-"  
"JOSH YOU DONT GET IT. NO BODY GETS IT. it's too much. It's eating me up. Devouring every cell in my body. It's puncturing my brain" he stabs his finger at his head. His eyes wild with pain sadness. Fear. "It's in there. Telling me to do bad stuff. It told me to break the promise"  
He looks down at the wooden floor the colour of joshs natural hair. He slowly pulls up his sleeves. Unzips his pants and shimmies out of them. Josh gasps instinctively reaching for Tyler.  
"Tyler I'm so sor-"  
"DONT. don't tell me you're sorry. There's nothing for you to be sorry over. People say sorry because they have to they don't actually mean it. It's a way of showing that you care without actually having to say it. Sometimes it's a good thing. But sometimes. You just don't want to hear it because it shows how broken you are"  
"Ok. Ok i won't tell you I'm sorry instead I'm gonna tell you to breathe. Together, let's breathe. Ok? We gotta calm you down. Cmon lets sleep"  
"Okay"  
They get into bed and sleep 

The next morning Tyler's mom comes into the room banging on the bedroom door with a wooden spoon smelling of vanilla and chocolate  
"Wakey wakey tyl- Oh. hello josh. I didn't hear you come up this morning"  
"Sorry Mrs Joseph. I actually was sleeping over. I came over around 12 last night. You weren't home I don't think?"  
"Well yes I went to visit Madison in hospital and fell asleep there. I didn't get home till around 9 this morning"  
"Oh I'm sor- I hope she's doing alright"  
"Yes she is. Well anyhow there's pancakes being burned downstairs if you would like to join us" she leaves the room with a cheery strut and wave  
Josh leans back against the wall and takes this time to look at Tyler sleeping. The curve of his nose. His bushy eyebrows that aren't actually that bushy. His scars. Fresh and painful to look at. Josh backs away and has to take a deep breath. His boy. The boy that he's in love with. Marking his beautiful clear skin with such marks. It breaks his heart. 

"I can't do it"  
"You have to. For josh"  
"I said. I CANT DO IT"  
Tyler's brain was spinning with thoughts. The gun in his hand heavy. The wind on his face cold. The water just across the barrier he was standing at dark and menacing. He was at their spot. The spot where they first met. Bumping into each other on a bridge. Literally bumping into each other. 'How cliche' Tyler thinks with a sad smile. It was here that josh told Tyler how he lost his virginity. It was here that Tyler first told josh about him cutting. It was here that josh told Tyler Ashley was getting abused by his dad. The tears were pouring freely now, Getting blown away by the wind  
"When the sun sets" he says  
"When the sun sets." He agrees  
He puts his hand out in front of him. Turning his hand into a gun. Seeing what it looks like  
"It's not as amazing as everyone makes them out to be"  
"That's true. It looks normal. Although I thought it would look more like a toy gun"  
He kept up this chatter until he couldn't see the sun anymore.  
"This abandoned bridge in this forest is so peaceful. Pity it has to be this way. I would've loved to grow old with josh and see this bridge grow old along with us"  
"I second that"  
He takes a deep breath and smiles. He knows josh loves him and that's all that matters  
The gun goes up  
His body goes down

 

1 week later the funeral happens. Josh is still in shock. He can't function properly. He doesn't eat. He's trying to sleep but he can't stuck with the image of Tyler with a gun in his hand.  
"Psychotic depression" he's told  
"He was hearing voices" he's informed  
He's hearing all of this but he's not processing. He's not processing the fact that his best friend, is dead. Shot in the head. Body fallen in the river.  
"ITS ALL BULLSHIT" he yells to the open river in front of him.

"It's all bullshit." he repeats , sinking to the ground where the gun lies.

"It's all bullshit" he says , as he lifts the gun


End file.
